no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
