if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
