Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
