Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
