You're a womanizer and a bitch.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
The beers last night were like the tears from god
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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