I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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