You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
