Midget sex pt 2 tonight
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
