do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
