I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
