I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
