I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
That accounts for only three of the penises
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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