3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize