i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
