we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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