a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
