i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
