You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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