she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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