After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I think a kid would responsible me up
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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