Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
