Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
