That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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