I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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