I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
