After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
