Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
