is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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