I am in a vortex of obligation.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
