I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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