After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
