Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
