my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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