Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
