and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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