she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
