Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize