i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
