Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
