i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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