just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
