The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Ketchup is God's man juice
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Randomize
