Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
