Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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