And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
