u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Randomize
