i just wanna soil my oats bro
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
