So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
