Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
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