yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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