soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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