didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
