It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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