i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
