Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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