he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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