Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
