Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
