In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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