Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
