So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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