While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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