a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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