No subtext here. People are naked.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
