i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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