Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
whose ass print is on the piano?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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