Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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