i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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