The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
