I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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