she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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