Joe is yelling at the trees again.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
The best revenge is premature balding
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
