She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
