i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
