ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize