Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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